A not so fun birthday for him

the guilt of a mother is nothing you'd ever want to feel. The.... I've could have done more... I should have done more... its all my fault.  The feeling of how you failed your child...  Its a horrible feeling.

Lets start from the beginning of the week.  The first week of May is always crazy for us... school testing, prepping, birthdays, celebrations etc... Lala and Santiago's birthday only 2 days apart doesn't help much with the it not being crazy.  But it is what it is and we do our best to celebrate them.  (still trying to instill the idea giving gifts to the mama instead because of giving birth and life to her kids. its not flying with the masses).
So we decided to just have cake for their birthday and celebrate their birthday later in June.. Like a pool party or something.

Ok.. I know you're wondering where the guilt comes in.  Here it is...

So..............

1.   Normally we don't do gifts and the kids don't expect (at least  I don't think so)  their gift is their party.. but I still felt guilty not getting anything for the kids...

2.  I didn't take the day off to spend time with Lala.. I did with Santi (continue on reading) but not with Lala.

3.  I did take the day off on Santiago's birthday... but mainly because he was having his dental procedure.

Santiago need to get fillings and work done because.. here it goes.. mothers guilt.. He has bad teeth.
I blamed the bottle, being the baby, bad habits.. etc.. and it was probably everything put together.  But I knew that we had to get it done.. I knew that if I wanted to protect him from bad teeth that we needed to get this done.  SO Friday he went in... We knew it was gonna be bad.. and long and probably the most work that any of the others would have gotten but ... still not a good feeling.  And yes we did it on his birthday :(  The only time open, would have waited forever if we didn't do it on that day.  So there that's number 4.

4.  Having done the procedure on his birthday.

So we went... got it done.. talked to the dentist.. he put him to sleep.. waited.. freaking out a bit but knew that he was going to be fine... we knew it because we have done it before with Papos........

When all was done... The dentist came to talk to us.. First thing he said was he did great.  He was awesome and was waking up soon.  He then explained to us that his enamel was weak. Whether we did everything we could to prevent it... it would have happened.  His enamel  is so weak that he is even thinking that this won't be the last time he will need to get something done... even if we brush, flouride, keep away from sugars.. etc... (which we do).  Its just his luck :(  the bad teeth luck... And so... this is what he had to do...


Remove 4 yes 4 bottom teeth, put 4 yes 4 silver caps on his front top teeth.  Put silver caps on some of his baby molars... and is predicting his other baby molars that are coming in will need work because of how weak it is.

I knew it was coming I knew this is what needed to be done.. but such an awful guilty horrible feeling for us.  I wish it could have been me..

The doctor also told us.. make sure we make him feel good about it.  Don't worry and make him worry.  Help him feel special and that he is not the only one with the caps.  Don't let him feel self conscious about the way he looks.. and javi replied..."yeah, we can even show him some rap videos so he can see.."
silly man.



  Here is my boy... and his Grills  yes.. i had to add Paul and his grills


So even if doc says it was bound to happen.. the guilt is still there...
He's still my cute precious baby boy..


HAPPY BIRTHDAY LALA AND SANTIAGO... <3

  
 

Back again

My Dearest Blog,
I am so sorry I have ignored you for 2 months.  I have been super duper crazy busy but then again who the hell isn't.  So I only blame the fact that I do not have a laptop to be able to take around the house and post on the blog... And I do think mother's day/ birthday (july) is coming ..  so maybe I'll add that to my list of a million things I'd like.  And I'd like to wish that if I win the lotto one day I could purchase all that's on my list.. but then it wouldn't be a wish list and then I wouldn't have a wish list... and who would I be without a wish list.. someone who doesn't wish... Nah... I'm good.

So blog after blaming time for not being able to post.  You have a lot of catching up to do... And the easiest way to do that is to over load you with pictures... So don't complain blog.. Here you go :)

P.S.
There are more stories and pics to tell but that would mean I need some catching up to do... Eventually dear blog.. I'll catch up! :)

                                          LOVE, 

D is for Dynamic Dyson!

Sometimes I get worried about getting new things. Especially when we are so comfortable with what we already have trying something new is scary. Well, we knew it was time for a new vacuum, but getting a Dyson was a big move. You might be thinking.. really Celena.. a vacuum.. you're worried about a vacuum. Yes, I'm lame like that. So after a while with my Dyson... I'm a little worried....

Don't get me wrong.. I LOVE MY DYSON... but either

A. We have been living in filth this whole time .. Cause everytime I vacuum seriously EVERY . TIME . I . VACUUM . I get a huge amount of dirt in the Dyson. After I vacuum every room I need to empty it out. I'm wondering if my old vacuum did anything this last year.. because the Dyson just keeps picking up dirt.

B. We bring in the filth every day. I know you are probably thinking.. yeah you have hellakids.. but seriously that bad.. hmmm maybe I'll have a rule to undress yourself and change to "houseclothes" so we can minimize filth.

OR

C. The DYSON is an amazing vacuum that it is picking up EVERYTHING even down to my own CARPET.. and by this summer my carpets will be sucked up by the Dyson that our floors will be bare with no carpet left...

All options.. Scare me!

Still love Dyson though.


And here are my babies... these are the facial expressions that they give their mama everyday..

Moments to remember

I'll set the scene for you...

We are all snuggling cuddling on the bed. Some how we all fit. Amali is the last to climb on. She's chewing on something, really not sure what. She take's it out of her mouth and hands it to Javi. She places it so close to his mouth as if she is wanting to shove it in his mouth.

Amali: Here Daddy, Here eat it... here Daddy eat it, its for you
Javi: What the um.. ok.. Thanks Ama

Javier takes a look at it trying to figure out what the heck she was trying to feed him. He's being polite, looking at it while she is staring him down wondering why he hasn't eaten it...

Amali: Eat it Daddy.
Javi: Thanks
Amali: It's Disgusting... Yuck Disgusting.
Javi: Thanks Ama...


We couldn't stop laughing... Hey at least she was being thoughtful sharing her snacks even if she thought they were disgusting...

PS it was a chewed up raisin...

Cheated...

Being sick is not so fun. You'd think that feeling really yucky and achy that you'd sleep all day.. right.. wrong. I am waking up early, and cant sleep at all. I don't like this sickness. Its not working for me, I've been cheated.

You know moms, you know that we have a mini vacation when we are sick. I'll be first to admit it. Sometimes we have to sacrifice things just for a little mini break... I might be beat down for letting the secret out but those other mamas that don't know it need to know...

How we get Mini Vacations...
1. Being sick allows me to sleep ALL DAY. I might feel like crap and ache and everything. But to be allowed to sleep ALL DAY (and sleeping in cause your husband has everything under control doesn't count) is nice. I mean in bed, PJs and all, maybe hair not comb, no worry of kids, meals, cleaning up, work... ALL DAY. I'd don't want a whole weekend of being sick just a day would be fine.

2. Having another baby. What the heck.. you might ask.. Yes after having Ama and Santiago being in the hospital being catered for was nice. Yes I know I was still taking care of an infant but it was like a mini getaway.

3. Work conferences.. this rarely.   But back in the day when we use to go...it was sweet.

So I think I need to do this cold/flu/sinus infection what ever it is all over again.  I think I know why I cant rest... I made a list this Friday of things I need to get done by this weekend and I haven't done any of it.  Damn that list...   

On a bright side... Look what we got :)  I'll be posting my pros and cons for our new family member Dyson Ball.  We still have love for our Kenmore but he'll be doing other jobs in the playroom/workout room.

 

Two from this weekend...

She will read anywhere..

<3

Sofi's words

So Sofia is a funny girl.. A bright, intelligent, 10 steps ahead of you girl.  We need to write a book on just the things Sofia says.. hilarious... Teresa told me.. "You know Sofia was telling me.. its kind of wierd going into Mama's house.. you know after Christmas.. When all the decorations are gone... Its just a stick.. A stick on the wall."

And she was right.  I found this idea on pinterest to place this stick so I can hang my stockings.  I loved it.  wierd I know.. but I did.  And after Christmas and decorations put away.. it was just a stick.. a stick on the wall..

So Sofia... this is for you baby girl.

I'll see if this sticks.. on the stick :)  clipping recent artwork or any work from the kids.  Yes that is a pumpkin.. I know two holidays ago.. but just had to test it out.   (
So Sofia.. do you like now?   Is it  better then just the stick on the wall?  Thanks Sofi... for making me notice that it is just a stick on the wall :)  (oh and  I know eventually I'll get to that picture and straighten it out.. someday)

Sometimes I wish

Sometimes I wish...

-that we could win the lotto or something so that i can be home like i am during vacation.
i did once. that was when i just had the babies. that is not going to happen soon.
i think that i relax more (duh), get to know my kids more, and enjoy it all more with out the work stress.

-i can be organized. i am, in my own make believe way. but i want things to be labeled, and look like the magazine.

-i could go shopping for myself in ANY store. ANY. Not feel guilty with what i buy and shop shop shop shop.

-i could just spend my days (after taking care of kids etc) learning about photography, buy new equipment and just snap like crazy.

-i could put make up on.. you know without having to mess up clean my face and start over again..

only a few of sometimes i wish... but then again it's only sometimes. otherwise i'm good.