A not so fun birthday for him

the guilt of a mother is nothing you'd ever want to feel. The.... I've could have done more... I should have done more... its all my fault.  The feeling of how you failed your child...  Its a horrible feeling.

Lets start from the beginning of the week.  The first week of May is always crazy for us... school testing, prepping, birthdays, celebrations etc... Lala and Santiago's birthday only 2 days apart doesn't help much with the it not being crazy.  But it is what it is and we do our best to celebrate them.  (still trying to instill the idea giving gifts to the mama instead because of giving birth and life to her kids. its not flying with the masses).
So we decided to just have cake for their birthday and celebrate their birthday later in June.. Like a pool party or something.

Ok.. I know you're wondering where the guilt comes in.  Here it is...

So..............

1.   Normally we don't do gifts and the kids don't expect (at least  I don't think so)  their gift is their party.. but I still felt guilty not getting anything for the kids...

2.  I didn't take the day off to spend time with Lala.. I did with Santi (continue on reading) but not with Lala.

3.  I did take the day off on Santiago's birthday... but mainly because he was having his dental procedure.

Santiago need to get fillings and work done because.. here it goes.. mothers guilt.. He has bad teeth.
I blamed the bottle, being the baby, bad habits.. etc.. and it was probably everything put together.  But I knew that we had to get it done.. I knew that if I wanted to protect him from bad teeth that we needed to get this done.  SO Friday he went in... We knew it was gonna be bad.. and long and probably the most work that any of the others would have gotten but ... still not a good feeling.  And yes we did it on his birthday :(  The only time open, would have waited forever if we didn't do it on that day.  So there that's number 4.

4.  Having done the procedure on his birthday.

So we went... got it done.. talked to the dentist.. he put him to sleep.. waited.. freaking out a bit but knew that he was going to be fine... we knew it because we have done it before with Papos........

When all was done... The dentist came to talk to us.. First thing he said was he did great.  He was awesome and was waking up soon.  He then explained to us that his enamel was weak. Whether we did everything we could to prevent it... it would have happened.  His enamel  is so weak that he is even thinking that this won't be the last time he will need to get something done... even if we brush, flouride, keep away from sugars.. etc... (which we do).  Its just his luck :(  the bad teeth luck... And so... this is what he had to do...


Remove 4 yes 4 bottom teeth, put 4 yes 4 silver caps on his front top teeth.  Put silver caps on some of his baby molars... and is predicting his other baby molars that are coming in will need work because of how weak it is.

I knew it was coming I knew this is what needed to be done.. but such an awful guilty horrible feeling for us.  I wish it could have been me..

The doctor also told us.. make sure we make him feel good about it.  Don't worry and make him worry.  Help him feel special and that he is not the only one with the caps.  Don't let him feel self conscious about the way he looks.. and javi replied..."yeah, we can even show him some rap videos so he can see.."
silly man.



  Here is my boy... and his Grills  yes.. i had to add Paul and his grills


So even if doc says it was bound to happen.. the guilt is still there...
He's still my cute precious baby boy..


HAPPY BIRTHDAY LALA AND SANTIAGO... <3